One word answers

So, here's a question out in the open for everyone who reads this blog: how do you know when you've taken enough of something? Like, what I mean is how do you know the limit between taking too much BS and you just making things up in your head? How do you know when someone's actually treating you badly? Cause it might not be them. It might just be that you're delusional, you know what I mean? Like, sometimes, you can twist things in your head around so badly. You can tell yourself that it's their fault, but really it's yours. But how can you tell? Can you? I can't.

We have been through this so many times. It's been 3 years and about 3 months, just like you said. Why is it almost me initiating the breaking up? I don't think it's totally fair to you. My warped mind is probably turning things upside down and out of proportion. But then again, you are not in the total right either. I treat you badly, and sometimes you treat me badly, but I think you're tougher than I am. You don't go into physical pain everytime you hear about you know what. You don't sit on your bed and, okay I admit it, cry. I am happy that when I asked you about your slight obsession, you were honest with me, but that doesn't mean it made me happy. How can you say, so calmly, that you are obsessed with her? And how could you mean it? Is there something wrong with me? I set myself up to meet your standard, really I do. I try to be shorter, cuter, dress nicer, tie my hair up nicely, be nice, be exactly like her because I think that maybe, if I just tried hard enough, you would like me more. Seriously, what's wrong with me? Just tell me, and I'll make it all better. Also it would be nice if you believed in me once in a while. It helps alot, or so I've heard.

But thanks for being totally honest with me though. I mean about your little heart to heart. It did make me feel better. It made me feel better to know that I am the only person that you have kept in contact for so long, and I like to know that you won't let me go and that you want to keep going on this odyssey of life, haha lame. Before this blog gets any lamer/emo-er, I'll leave you with this.